Bringing a new technology or software package into the workplace
Original article date: April 1998
Implementing new ideas with as little fuss as possible is really, really important. Here, then is the definitive guide to bringing a new technology or software package into the workplace. Really.
1 Kill as many birds with one stone as possible. Bring in voicemail, email, hot desking and 7.30am workforce callisthenics all on the same day. That way, the disruption will be over as soon as possible.
2 Always assume when planning that the technology will succeed first time. If you are putting in a switchboard that allows customers to dial straight through to the extension of their choice, sack all but one of the switchboard operators five minutes after the system goes live.
3 If training is required, give it well in advance so everyone has been trained well before D day. Ignore people who say that this means folk will forget it before they get to use it, or that you won’t know if the training is no good until it’s too late. They’re obviously just wimps.
4 Always believe what it says on the software box about hardware requirements. If it says 4Mb memory is the minimum, then that’s all anybody needs. Any more should be regarded as a taxable perk. Any hardware upgrades required should be planned for the day before the software is installed. The IT department will cope.
5 When assessing hard disk space requirements, assume that all the old redundant packages will be removed before the new ones are installed. Tell anyone who suggests it might be wise to keep both old and new live for a trial period that they are being defeatist.
6 There is a pecking order for new hardware. Secretaries only need to view the boss’s diary, email, keep multiple word processor documents open and enter data into spreadsheets or presentations when asked, so a 4Mb 386 is quite sufficient for them. We engineers on the other hand need to be able to see Dilbert on the web, so we need far more Intel inside. The boss, who can’t figure out how to turn his on, needs a Unix workstation capable of finite element weather prediction.
7 Act completely surprised when the supplier with the pushiest salesforce (to whom you awarded the contract) suddenly disappears off the face of the earth after you make the final payment. Allude to a rigorous supplier selection procedure which you used but give no details to anyone insolent enough to ask.
8 When you’re deciding whether or not to upgrade, never even try to attach any tangible value to reasons like ‘we have to because all our customers will have the latest version’. Just leave these claims unquantified (like you do with anything to do with quality or strategy) and they will remain unassailable. You didn’t get where you are today by questioning the sanity of being at the ‘bleeding edge’. Nor did Bill Gates.
9 Don’t take any lip from the IT department. Everyone knows that the latest software is easier to support than the old stuff they’ve got used to. And what’s all this fuss about needing a faster network ? It’s only a load of wires…
10 Remind everyone that any grief the new system is allowed to cause just detracts from the end of year profit-share. It’s in their interest to cope. (Whingers !).
April 1998