What I’m Thinking
Original article date: June 2001
1. Since we actually handedover the money for the 3D solid modelling system, the suppliers have been far more attentive and responsive.
2. Setting up a new computeris so much easier than you expect it will be, and takes so much less time.
3. When you add up all the tolerances,it turns out we actually have less of a problem than we thought we’d have.
4. I love these computerised phone systems- you know exactly what you’ll get and don’t have to talk to a real person at all.
5. The job has turned out to be easierthan we thought; we’ll deliver your order early and charge you less.
6. It’s great to receiveunsolicited promotional emails. They keep you abreast of things without you having to go to the effort of seeking out magazines to read.
7. I wish I received morecolour glossy brochures in the post. I love the time spent opening the envelopes, figuring out what on earth I ticked to bring this upon myself, then wrestling with the guilt of wanting to bin them despite thinking that somehow they might maybe be useful to me despite being, on the face of it, utterly irrelevant to what I’m doing right now.
8. You (or your automated fax system)seem to have accidentally sent exactly the same order to us twice, but rather then idiotically ship you the goods twice, we have applied a bit of intelligence and recognised it was a mistake on your part. You’ll only be receiving one set of goods.
9. I do love websites which take ages to load.I always know when the modem downloads upwards of 500K before I get to see anything that I’m in for a real graphical treat that will make all the time waiting for it well spent.
10. I’m just calling to saythat since you are due to deliver our machine in less than a month we’d like to make absolutely no changes to the spec.
11. I think that Microsofthas demonstrated a very good grasp of security technology over the years and am utterly happy about the idea of US Naval vessels being fully controlled by Windows 2000. Would an accidental missile attack on Redmond be classed as ‘friendly fire’?
12. I love meetings.They are usually so productive.
13. I do wish I could get coffee at homethat was as nice as the stuff out of the machine in work. And where can I buy those great cups that seem to be made out of 5 micron copper foil that help warm your hands so well.
14. I think the Windows technical support modelis fantastic. Simply include ‘OEM’ in the product serial number and then make your distributors take the flak for every design fault (or charge 40 quid for a bit of phone support). I wish more manufacturers did that.
15. It’s far too much to askthat small planes flying to the Rhein industrial area from Luton at 7am should have power sockets at each seat for laptops. After all, there’s no reason to believe that a significant proportion of the passengers are anything other than holiday makers.
16. These days they makekids’ TV programmes far better than they used to. I remember the Clangers and it wasn’t a patch on the Pokemon cartoons.
June 2001